I’ve been writing things for years. Stories; poems; really, really bad poems; parts of novels; screenplays; this blog.  The funny thing is that in all the years I’ve been doing it, I’ve never had writer’s block.  I would just sit down, stare off into space (it looks like I’m goofing off), and after a minute or two my fingers would just start moving.  Lately though I’ve been off.  Not off in the sense of sour-cream that’s been left in the fridge for half a year and now has fungus growing out from under the lid, but more like cheese that has the flecks of mold growing on it that you know needs to be thrown out.  Since my last posting I’ve attempted to compose at least three posts, all of which I’ve deleted most viciously.

This is that point where I could let this blog wither and die a slow painful death as I post tripe, just quit, or I grind it out and go for the sweet stuff.  Not really a choice that.  First the world is just too bizarre and fun not to comment on, and second, what else do I have to do?

Take for example this story I stumbled across about keeping pot illegal in California.  Or if that is not your thing, you could try the poor guy who got hauled to court for having the audacity to drink coffee while naked in his own house.  I have to admit that both of these stories make me laugh.  The first one because for years pot growers have been working to have pot legalized, and now that they may get their wish, they realize they could just be killing the golden goose. And the second story, well you have to ask yourself, what the hell was the plaintiff doing that she was looking so intently into someone else’s house?  I guess that the saying “against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain,” is just as relevant today as it was in during Friedrich von Schiller’s lifetime

In thinking on it though, I realize that where I’m a bit dim, is that I have that very human drive to always want to put my best foot forward.  I can spend all day commenting on snippets of news, but ah…the lure of original content.  I enjoy throwing muck at pristine white paper, just to see what comes out.  It is almost an indecent thrill. And then I remembered something else.  In a recent(ish) post of mine, I commented on Calvin and Hobbes. Now I’m no Bill Watterson, but I like to think I always put my best stuff forward, and while I do not work for a syndicate or for money I am a perfectionist in my own way.  I always want things to be just so, and the end result of that truly is like this:

It be that way sometimes!

It’s true: all the best things in life are simply done for the joy of the activity itself.  You can’t take money with you—although I guess you could buy a platinum coffin if you liked.  Time also erodes the fame of all but a miniscule few, who are so lionized and to be dehumanized.  So it must be that as the bard says, “the play is the thing!” So here is to that most overlooked quality of being stalwart.  It may mean, in my case, putting something up I’m not happy with (hopefully not often) or it could just mean taking setbacks with equanimity.  On the upside though, it also means you get to cheer louder for yourself, because you become the dependable one.  And that is always worth a pip-pip!.

Oh, and if  you think this is just a little self-indulgent, here is the real punch line!

So true for bloggers as well.

So I had a really crappy Monday, and I tried to blog about it, and failed most spectacularly with about  six different incarnations of this post.  But I’m back at it, because it feels important.  Part of what made the start of this week so abysmal had to do directly with my habit of giving people my opinion completely uncensored when asked, and part of it had to do with a relationship I’ve been working on.  Nothing unexpected has happened, which is cryptic at best, but here is my point:

It’s true; someday even the luck rocketship underpants don’t help.  What I love about this strip though is Hobbes being that quite cheerleader we all need on the days when nothing goes as planned.  In that respect, I have to give a big thank you to one of the most awesome bosses a person could have: so THANKS Greta. Greta is one of the most over-worked, people I know, and even though she was so sick she didn’t come in (but was still working from home), she took the time to call and offer me support and wisdom during the middle of a horrid day.  And no, you can’t have my boss…she is too awesome to just give away.

The main issues that occupied my Monday have not gone away, but at the moment I’m in a place where all I can do is wait.  But now I’m a few days after the fact and even that small space gives me more perspective. Part of which comes from my Twitter thought of the day from that same horrible Monday.  It was a Latin proverb: Dum spiro, spero, which means “While I breath, I hope.”

Waiting has to be one of the hardest things in the world for me to do.  Over the past few years I’ve become much more decisive than I was as a child.  This is partly because I got sick of having the endless “where do you want to eat?” conversations with my friends, and partially because I’ve never been overly patient in the first place.  But this is an odd place for me to be in.  For a long time, I didn’t know what I wanted, which resulted in inaction.  Now I know what I want, but to get what I want (if that is even possible) I have to wait.  I think that is worse then not acting because you are unsure of what you want.  So I choose to breathe and hope I get my wishes (as I’ve already done everything I can), which at the moment are fixed firmly on two very large components of what is generally regarded as “the good life.” Namely I’m waiting on news from law schools and to see if the relationship I’ve been cultivating is going to wither or bloom.

I have a love hate relationship with The Rolling Stones.  By that I mean that I either love a song they wrote or hate it.  There does not seem to be any in-between, nor could I tell you why I like some Stone’s songs and hate the others.  But one song that I am enamored of is You Can’t Always Get What You Want.  It has a very catchy little piano and organ bit, which I love and the lyrics are just on point:  “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need.”  Such a concise statement for so much of my day-to-day existence, and I guess it has been rattling around in the back of my skull since Monday.  I know this is true, and I actually tried to use this paragraph as the introduction to this post as I thought it was relevant.  But it dawned on me that is the exact opposite of what also must be true.  Sometimes you get what you want, and it turns out to be exactly what you need.  Now that is some hope I can get behind.

It’s odd though.  Monday was not what I wanted by any stretch of the imagination, but it may just have been what I needed.  It’s nice every once in a while to see your life turn into such a flaming effigy.  It reminds you that the numbing routine of work is not what we are on this planet for, and it pushes me to be better.  So thanks to all those quite cheerleaders out there for helping me push through, but I made this mess and it is mine to revel in.  And like my dad says, “The Boss has a way of giving you what you expect.”  To which I add my corollary: be sure to expect the best, even when in the middle of a quagmire.  You will still have a few of those days where the awesome pair of rocketship underwear doesn’t help, but if nothing else, there is always Calvin and Hobbes to read.